An adult version of ELF on the shelf because of the hate I have for the original

Yes. I will admit it. I think it’s a HORRIBLE. A “spy” sort to speak, brought into your home to tattle on your kids to “Santa” If they aren’t a “Good boy/girl” I thought this stuff about telling kids they are “Bad” was removed from our vocabulary, as telling a child they are bad can destroy their self esteem and make them think there’s something wrong with them. So why the HELL is this stupid creepy toy any different?

Don’t get me wrong. If you as a parent choose to do this, so be it. My opinion is it’s a conceptually scary item to have in your home instilling fear into a child about EVERYTHING they do. A parent should parent to get their kids to behave, not use some toy to report to a factitious man so they can get their children to comply.

Day 1 – Hi , I’m Spankme. I’m the ADULT version of “Elf on the Shelf” and I’m mischievous. Enjoy the naughty fun I get into!

I do NOT do “Santa” with my kids. NEVER did, never will.
WHY should I?

I’ve been told for the “Spirit” of Christmas…. My response is, SHOW me one store that actually portrays the “Spirit” of Christmas over the commercialism and I will gladly say “You found one, now make them all like this.”

I’ve been called greedy, selfish and worse still a “Bad parent” (Oh whoa is me… I shudder at the “bad parent” comment…)

My response is…

Santa can create GREEDY kids. Ones who believe that ANYTHING they want will come to them if they wish hard enough.
I’ve even watched a child call Santa a “Fat fuck” because they got a Gameboy instead of another hand held gaming system, They then threw it and broke it, 6 mins after opening the package.

Santa creates heartbreak. Kids have enough to deal with in life, why the hell build up their hopes only to dash them down when they don’t get that one MAJOR item they want.  I watched another child  who was five at the time, cry his eyes out for HOURS after not getting the one item he so desperately wanted. (A sibling) for Christmas. To this day (He’s only 7) he HATES Santa for letting him down. He still doesn’t have a sibling either.  Every time he sees Santa at the mall he tells his mom he wants to go home. He then refuses to go back to the mall with anyone till after the holidays.

So to have this elf doll in my home to make reports isn’t an option. I tell my kids who the REAL Santa is… ME. I ask them what they want for Christmas.

1 they want
1 they need.
1 to wear
1 to read

I get more respect from my children as a parent working to give them a holiday wish.
For not lying to them and for setting behavior goals with proper parenting over
manipulation via fake magic.

PS: Due to the dislike I have towards Elf on the Shelf (MANY of my friends included)
I made my OWN ADULT version.
NSFW!!! I named her Spankme.  She is Naughty. A fun Hohoho! And well will do all
kinds of mischievous things this year for a laugh.
To those who dislike this concept… it’s for me only. For a picture grab only and for laughs only and to make fun of that creepy elf.


Day 2 – Spankme comes in like a wreaking ball. wearing a nice pair of glitzy panties 😉

So here’s to the parents who do Elf on the Shelf… kids are scared of that one…
here’s to the ones who don’t like this one… I hope she scares you!

Happy Holidays from one nutty blogger with a sick and funny twisted sense of humor.



About Jaidemoon

Sylvia lives in Halifax NS in a well known neighbourhood called Spryfield Sylvia is also known in many writing circles as Lila Mosher. (her chosen pen name) She is in the process of getting her 1st book published, from a series called Steppin' Out that she's been working on for a few years (So far she's completed 4 books and the 5th one is almost done.) She's accomplished getting poetry published in the past but the most recent accomplishment was getting an article published in the Nova Scotia Advocate. (Something she's wanted to do for years) Sylvia has 2 children at home and is a altruistic lady who is forever trying to assist those in her community, she volunteers for the local food bank in her area and helps rescue cats though a rescue group she runs with her aunt called "Halicats". She firmly believes that kindness is a commodity and should be given freely. "I once was told as a teen... 'When storm clouds come rolling in, try to be someones rainbow.' I still try to do this on a daily basis." S. White. Sylvia Or Jaide in here has quite the following with her written works including a fan fiction series called Generation Ork. and several other stories that you can find on line. Check them out in the links on her blog.
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2 Responses to An adult version of ELF on the shelf because of the hate I have for the original

  1. Lynn Baker says:

    I love it. Makes perfect sence. Kids today are so damn greedy, they think they are owed everything that they want, and dont even care about the ” TRUE MEANIND OF CHIRSTMAS”.

    • jaidemoon says:

      It’s not just the kids though. Many parents create their own greedy kids. (I have a family member who did and it’s horrid) I believe good parenting practices, consistency and patients is the key. Not Santa or this elf… it’s one reason why I made this “JOKE” toy in the most perverted sense to purposely piss off the “uber” mom’s of the world who believe that anyway other than spanking is a good way to get a child to behave is good enough. (and trust me there are some out there.) Don’t use that damn creepy elf…

      There is NO SUCH THING as a “Bad girl/boy”
      It’s the actions that are wrong (Not bad) and they can
      be fixed… BAD means “broken” and no child should be made to feel broken!

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