Bashing the gay community with ignorance, doesn’t make you right.

I was introduced to this video VIA a friend who isn’t against gay marriages.  He however feels that all the “flag waving” is out of hand… (Such is his opinion, doesn’t mean I agree with it) TOO many people think others are

“Just jumping on the bandwagon!” When it comes to support to the gay community.
Frankly I think the more who support the better, this world is already full of enough hate. Getting angry at those who support a cause only goes to prove that we need MORE people who are supportive to any given cause that benefits a peaceful community as a whole.

The video I speak of is below.

I watched it and I very much disagree with this video. I was told if I respond emotionally I was being irrational.  Frankly I think thats a crock of shit as well… but here’s my  non emotional response. (yes some personal info as well included)

I know several people who are same sex, married and have and are still raising SEVERAL adopted foster children who are.
1. Benefiting society (1 of these children; he is a social worker, married as well  and to a same sex partner also and also has 2 adopted children. He came into this home as a openly gay child and ACCEPTED for who he was. Given the same rights to a roof over his head, love, food in his belly and medical care.
2. This family’s union is saving the government money because they have taken in 9 children from the CPS foster homes and gave them a loving and stable home to live. There for saving the government money in the long run.  When a child is in care it costs CPS about $900 a month per child to pay a foster parent to maintain that child’s care… How do I know… I WAS one of those foster children IN the system. I got lucky with my home and my foster parents showed me what the government paid her to care for me.  Once a child is adopted CPS no longer has to pay the foster parents as it is shown in court that they can afford to maintain the upbringing of each child. 
3. If there were more adoptive same sex homes more children would be raised to be tolerant, accepting and non judgemental. (and quite possible less racists!) The government could save MILLIONS of dollars as well allowing more same sex couples adopt. Less children would be beaten or abused while in the care of a same sexed couple. It’s more likely that a child is beaten or abused by their own biological parents or while in foster care of a hetrosexual couple. Take for instance the several young children who died while in care over a 6 month period in the last few years because CPS took them from their parents for smoking pot. EVERY single home was a hetrosexual setting.
4. Contrary to popular belief that only gay men molest children. None of these children are being or have been molested in this situation.  If anything these children are treated with more respect and dignity then most got with their own flesh and blood. 

When I see videos like this I feel that people tend to take acceptance and tolerance for certain things and at different levels. (Like the ending of segregation) and refuses to let go of their bigoted reasoning which is TAUGHT. (There’s no such thing as Homophobia… No one is inherently AFRAID of a gay person….You’re taught as a child that this person is bad and lied to and told they will molest you. Which is UNTRUE)

I USE to be scared of people who were gay when I was a child… unlike many; once I was on my own I learned there was nothing wrong with it, because it answered my own questions about my own sexuality.

I learned if a person isn’t tolerant of me as I am then these aren’t people I want to be around because they cause friction, something I do not need in my life. I have foster children who are Trans, Gay and Bi. None of my kids molest people, they all plan on getting married. Two of them plan on rescuing children from the foster system. (as many as they can financially support.) If this is SO wrong. I don’t want them to be right… Why because I love my kids for who they are, and I will support their choices.

So…Am I offended by this video?  No, not really…BUT I don’t accept it or agree with it though which is my choice, just like it was their choice to make a video that is based on ignorant and biased facts.

OH and PS: There is nothing wrong with an emotional response to a video like this. If a person punches you in the face do you not respond with an emotion or do you rationalize? Yeah… just as I thought.
You respond with emotion…

This video is a punch in the face to the gay community… those who respond emotional. Don’t feel bad about doing so, it’s a natural reaction. I chose not to because I was told I shouldn’t; this doesn’t mean I didn’t at first… I just chose the HIGH road; unlike the people who created it in the first place.

Those are MY thoughts on that video and here’s one to counteract it…

IN a world where so many feel unloved, unwanted, unaccepted. Their rights taken for granted and those saying “You oppress me because you want what I have” need to take  a LONG hard look at what you can do to a person when you tell them they are disgusting for being themselves…. There’s enough children dying in the world. NONE should die because of intolerant people.  Learn why there are more kids in the gay community killing themselves and understand it works BOTH ways.  How would many like to live in a world where being gay was normal and being straight was “wrong” (Video below shows an example of this concept.)

I hear after all of this is said and done that well, I see people who support the gay community get pissy and they try to shove it down our throats…
Umm, NO this isn’t what they are trying to do… they are TRYING to explain why the voiced choices are IGNORANT…

People who get upset, do so at those who are rude about it all; are upset because of the ignorant ideology behind the fear mongering… Such as: “A gay person will change you…” I’m sorry if you can be “changed” then you were always Gay. another one: “Gay are pedophiles who molest boys”. This too is a rediclious statement and is unfounded, since when it is only gay men who molest children. Or comments on: “I base my belief on the teachings of the bible.” yet it’s been translated 200 times and no one agrees to what it really means…and one religion shouldn’t Pick and choose what to follow, if they can then so can EVERYONE else.

I ACTUALLY get if people don’t like it cause they think it’s “gross”… This is a personal thing… THAT I honestly get… It’s like being grossed out over liver, but no one goes around screaming, Don’t eat liver because I don’t like it! but you will see people encourage others to at least TRY to understand why others do eat it…

to some this will seem like a stupid comparison… but when in fact it’s actually kinda the same.  Those who don’t support based on ideals they were taught are allowed to do so… I don’t condemn them for that at all…They can’t help to think like they do as it was forced upon them, unlike myself and several others at least our support isn’t based on a forced idea, we LEARNED on our own how to think for ourselves. 🙂

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Congrats to the USA! #loveislove

So, June 26th, 2015 is now the USA’s day to be PROUD!
because they finally followed the same suit that Canada did and approved nation wide that same sex marriages were legal.

NOW it’s JUST marriage, regardless of the two getting married. No more need for defined labels.  I find it quite amusing to see SO many closed minded people going on about how they plan on moving to Canada JUST because the United States decided to give EVERYONE equality in the eyes of marriage.  Eh?! Seriously?


Ummm, NEWS FLASH there hunnies,

Canada gave marriage equality back in 2005, TEN whole years before the USA even did.  SO I think there’s going to be some sorely disappointed foreigners coming to our borders if they think we’re keeping anyone who’s gay out. If you REALLY hate gay people THAT much… How about you move to places like… Oh I don’t know… a suggestion…. like say Iran?  Saudi Arabia? Egypt? Libya? JUST to name a few. I’m SURE you’ll ALL fit right in!!! Gay acts there are punishable by death. I’m sure as a “Christian” they will HAPPILY accept your views! (So long as you convert!)

Oh and good luck with that. 🙂

To the USA… Congrats! (It’s about time) but Welcome aboard the equality train~!~


In light to the state wide appoval to give equal rights to everyone who wishes to marry; people need to remember The unity of two souls existed long
before most religions. Those who don’t want to embrace the new rights that gay couples have don’t have to like it; they also don’t have to believe it’s right,
but I feel when their close minded venomous ideals are spewed upon the masses and scream that it should be forced on a legal level on everyone; well this
is a form of oppression isn’t it? These people want to take away a right they have ALWAYS had because it interfears in their lives indirectly. I don’t get it.
How is a person who is unknown to most interfearing with another persons life? Canada did it LONG before the USA and we’re STILL the same.
The world didn’t fall into brimstone or self destruct. Those who spew hate with the ideology that they are “Christian”need to learn that they are using their
bibles in the wrong way. Never beat someone with the word of god, it might come back and bite you back.

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A father’s day note…

Well  tomorrow marks another year where I get to be “Daddy” to my kids.  The same life they lead in a  single parent home is the same I had growing up too.  A child, who’s male protector, guide and soul example on what a true gentleman is suppose to be… One that never existed at least not for me. (not even within my mom) So I try my best to do my best for my kiddos so they know that even though we don’t have a dad here yet, I’m willing to do the wonderful job two parents usually do. Why, because I love them! ❤

Sadly as a child, my father was a monster. One I was quite scared of.  One who taught me that there is no such thing as “gentle”. He had a harsh way of discipline, and it was brutal.
This monster was one who got father’s day cards I was forced to make in school, but he truly never earned a single one.  I can honestly say I loathe this man and that I’m broken inside, scared because of him. I still cringe in shame, fear and self hate on how he treated my mom, my siblings and I.

BUT… I don’t hide within those scars.  Nope.

As much as I hate the concept that I have a father I understand that this man isn’t my “REAL” DAD.
My dad, Papa is the foster parent who raised me.  William Smith.  A tall, large, quiet man who had more patients than any man I know. A god given talent to make you fear him but not because you knew you’d be hurt but because you knew just how damn disappointed he was going to be in what you’d done. A man who listened more than he spoke. (He always said our mother did enough speaking for the both of them LOL) A man who taught me it WAS possible to trust again… My foster dad Willie is the reason why I learned to even trust guys at all. Without him being there as I grew up (as a young teen stuck in the foster system) I think I’d have self destructed long ago.  He taught me skills I still carry to me this very day.  He gave me wise words to follow. He showed me compassion when I screwed up and he did the job that even my own biological parents just couldn’t do, and even though I’m a single parent myself and we continue with our lives without a father in my own children’s lives that someday there will be someone willing to do what my foster dad did for me.

To my Papa Willie… I love you! Happy Father’s day and  thanks for ALL that you did for me, even if you never said much! Your actions, patients and compassion meant more to me than you will ever know.  I miss you lots. ❤

To the man of the future who takes on the wonderful job of teaching my kids that there is someone out there who will love them like a dad should, teach them how to value their partner, and how to be a good example.  Happy father’s day to you too. It’s not an easy job but at least someone was up to it!


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UPDATE to: Don’t be another dead beat.

Link to original story here :

She's gotten so big! She's beautiful and so smart!

She’s gotten so big! She’s beautiful and so smart!

So I gave him till the end of February, Hell I waited all of March and almost 2 weeks into April as well.


We heard NOTHING.


My action of recourse is in motion and soon she will no longer be burdened with the last name of the man who didn’t want her anyway. 😦 It makes me sad but she should have the same name as her brother and I so as not to feel like the odd one out.

Its time to move on and soon as I’m done with my trade course and my LAST reason to remain in this province is gone (My aunt who is not in the best of health is the only reason why I stay) then I will move right away from here.  Go to a better place that will give my kids and I a better life and chance at happiness.  It just hurts me to know he didn’t give a damn enough to TRY and meet his daughter… and now… it’s too late.


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Walking Scared in Halifax – Mass Valentine’s Murder averted.

News broke today that there had been plans in the making to target and kill as many people as possible at the Halifax Shopping Center on Valentine’s day. The mass murder plot was thankfully adverted when someone reported the two planning this horrific crime had access to weapons and planned on killing themselves as well.

When I am made aware of things like this I wonder.  WHAT’S going through these people’s minds when they planned this?  Were they obsessed with death or is there more to it? I learned this evening that Randall Shepherd worked at the Wal-Mart not far from the targeted mall, and not long after police apprehended a young Illinois woman who was also in on the whole thing as well as two others whose role weren’t clarified at the time.

I went to the Halifax Shopping Center this evening and spoke to some of the patrons who were browsing around. The high security presents; a welcomed sight. Many whom I spoke to voiced their concerns on the matter such as…

“That isn’t a typical Canadian thing to do. I blame that US chick… She had something to do with this.”

Another woman; with the lady who was speaking nodded and responded with “I agree, it’s just not something Canadian’s do. We don’t go around shooting people like that.”

The resounding words I heard time and time again; people seemed to agree that the young woman involved with this ordeal had something to do with it and many patrons at the HSC were not happy to know she was from the United States.

I learned the names of the two – Lindsay Kantha Souvannarath, a 23-year-old from Geneva, Ill., and Randall Steven Shepherd, 20, of Halifax had both been charged with this crime.  A 17 year old youth from Cole Harbor was also detained but then released without charges.  James Gamble the 19 year old male who is also named in this plot was found dead in his home in Timberlea on Friday just prior to his arrest.  Halifax’s SIRT are currently investigating this death.

With all of this horrifying news flying around about this mass murder plot people were on edge and rightfully so. Things like this don’t usually happen in our quaint little city, BUT recently I’ve noticed more “odd” and off the wall things have been happening over the years. More mysterious packages show up in places that make people  panic.  Bomb squads are rushed in to deal with the issues.
Chemicals are found in homes that can cause massive and great harm to those around them and again the authorities have to be called in.

It’s almost like they are being tested.
It’s getting scary and for some ungodly reason I think this city is just waiting on edge for something bigger.

With this said. What happened later this evening in the light of the averted plot  was several youth then decided to use high powered sling shots and shoot at a bus by the mall near the Mumford road terminal.  I had JUST left the mall at about 6:30 and made it to the corner  when I heard what sounded like a pop bottle being run over.  I crossed the street and made it to the bus terminal when a half dozen police cars surrounded the mall and pretty much left everyone scratching their heads wondering just what the hell was going on.  It took me about 15 mins to find out about the youngsters acting up and testing the nerves of those who were already on edge with their very immature antics.   The Halifax Shopping Mall was closed down for the rest of the evening after all of this.

I PRAY that this last incident has been a wakeup call for Halifax and they STAY on their toes. I fear if the city doesn’t the next big thing won’t have such a good outcome.



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Dating a Sociopath …

Being told I was selfish for wanting to go back to school was when I knew something was wrong. After he left… I was told “I’ll come back if you apologize for abusing me.”
I refused to fall for his manipulation and let him go.  Even though he needs to know the daughter he abandoned, this man couldn’t control me and he never will.  If you’re in a relationship like the article below describes. PLEASE try and get  out of it and move on. NO ONE needs to live in fear like that.


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Don’t be ANOTHER dead beat… She wants to know you…

An open letter to my Ex:

She’s an amazing little creature you know. So beautiful. She looks like my aunt. She has beautiful blue/green eyes and the smarts of a typical 8 year old; even though she’s 3.  You really ought to meet her.  She asks about you.  Here, have a pic of her. 🙂 there’s more in my facebook if you want them. Go look.

She's gotten so big! She's beautiful and so smart!

She’s gotten so big! She’s beautiful and so smart!

My daughters father, he’s a nice guy… (NO it’s true he really is… He’d give you the shirt off his back…) BUT he’s a bit of a whiney ass as well… and he’s going on 3 years (as of June 7th 2012)  of not seeing his daughter.

(I’m sorry I can’t call him her “Dad” because he’s not here to be one… )

No support of any kind.  it sucks….. FOR HER. I really don’t care about the financial part of it. I don’t give a flying rats ass about that; that’s not important I can take care of our daughter on my own, but it’s really sad when there’s more “deadbeat” dads out there than there are considerate ones. He sees his other daughter from his 1st marriage… He visits her lots. He even pays support to his ex for her. He does NOTHING for his youngest. It’s not fair to HER. (But then again I’ve heard he denies she’s his anyway so it doesn’t surprise me… which is REALLY sad, but not something I tell her… but she will learn when she’s older if this is true. I PRAY it isn’t.)

I asked for help, since I know my ex doesn’t work on board (he’s an under the table kinda guy) through the courts. The family courts seen his lack of participation in the last 2+ years as “Abandonment” He wasn’t and is not stopped from seeing her. (I proved this to the courts as well back in June of 2014) He has no legal recourse or say anymore due to his lack of parenting and abandonment, I now have sole custody, but I won’t stop him if he wants to see her.

our daughter

our daughter

He was asked to take a parenting course because the care around his littlest one was very overwhelming to him. I knew this and made this suggestion to HELP him. He saw it as an attack on his person. He refused when we were together and he refused to even acknowledge his daughter and I existed when I tried to contact him VIA my Family SOS worker (a parental support worker) who was with me when I e-mailed him. So I offered him supervised visits because of this refusal or lack of willingness to co-operate, and he’s still not acknowledged that he’s been contacted (I have viable proof through the courts and my own lawyer has contacted him several times AND his mom) I can’t leave her in his care if he can’t change her if she has an accident. He works nights and I don’t need him falling asleep while she’s in his care and I REFUSE to have her dumped on another woman to look after her for him. She’s HIS not some other woman’s responsibility.  I want HIM to get to know her. She NEEDS to know she’s valued by him to, but this won’t happen if he won’t co-operate or If he still feels the need to keep blaming me for his not seeing her.

When her 1st birthday came… his mom sent gifts… to my lawyers office with MY last name on the cards for our daughter who has her fathers last name… and she KNEW it.
I was very disappointed. Far as I am concern this was an intentional insult. My daughters grandmother knows better than that but still decided to be rude about the whole thing.
Thanks for the dresses “A” she loved them. I told her they were from her father, NOT you.


You know who you are… so… suck up your damn pride, stop being foolish. She wants to know you. You SHOULD know her. Get your head out of your ass… stop listening to the stories others tell you. The bullshit flows thick and you’re getting swept away in it all.
I KNOW you’re smarter than this & I know you are WAY better to. I KNOW you’re a good guy even if you have your faults, we all do no one is freaking perfect you know…

Our daughter is an amazing little girl and she asks about you all the time. I do my DAMNDEST to tell her you are around and just too busy to come see her. I EVEN have our family pic up by our bed so she can see you dammit.  She even asked on Friday evening as she looked at your picture.  “Doesn’t he like me?” Do you know how HARD it was for me to tell her through the tears .. “YES, I’m sure he does buttercup.” DO YOU!!?? I bet you don’t… it broke my heart… thinking about how selfish you are to her… that your pride is worth more than she is because you know the lies are catching up to you. Make some damn effort in your life for once instead of always blaming your problems on someone else or running to your mom.

My cell number hasn’t ever changed (even though you’ve had your friends call and prank me with some NASTY shit) it’s still there… CALL if you want to see her, I don’t need her thinking half of her is “Wrong or bad” because you refuse to acknowledge that she exists.
She is damn perfect and it’s too bad you can’t see that because you have this idea that I’m going to sit here and belittle you… you do that well enough to yourself ALL ON YOUR OWN! You sure the hell don’t need my help.

This is your LAST chance… after this blog message… I won’t bother to reach out again.
YES my lawyer will be made aware. This IS recorded after all. So do yourself a favor…
(You have till the end of February)

Heed my words (and your ex’s for that matter) that you’ve heard time and time again…



PS: To those who read this… I will update to say if he actually contacted us or not… (He’s on my mailing list in here so I KNOW he will see it) Please refrain from slamming him.
Yes he’s being a “dead beat” but I’m trying to give him a chance to rectify this. He’s not a bad guy… just… lacking the will to do the right thing.

Below is the poem I wrote for our daughter based on her viewpoint after she pointed to someone on the bus and said “Daddy”… He looked SO much like her father so she remembers his face, be it from her pictures or memory. At least I TRY to make sure she knows who he is! She smiled but then frowned when this man smiled back and said “No Honey I’m not your daddy.” It broke my heart cause then she cried and crawled into my lap and hid her face.

You should have been there. – a poem from the point of a child.

September 15, 2012 at 11:18pm

You left one day back in June without out so much as a good-bye.
You passed on judgement of my mom and hurt her with your lies.
I was only ten months old and had just learned to walk.
I’d be saying how much you hurt me if only I could talk.

The stories you tell people to make yourself look so big,
are only one more splinter in my soul and deeper they dig.
You will regret your actions, the lies that had been told,
for there will never again be a day my heart you will hold.

I’m only little and growing fast, my learning new and the world so vast.
Soon the questions will come out “Why isn’t daddy here?” is what I’ll ask.
Mommy will hold me and tell me that Daddy loved me but chose to go away.
I will wonder for years to come, how come Mommy couldn’t make him stay?

In time I will learn from friends and family the awful truth that I was sheltered from.
That my dad didn’t want me and he ran away from my brother, me and my mom.
I will learn the stories he told to hurt my mom’s heart because he was so mad.
But what will be the worse thing is that he never took the time to really be my dad.

So as I grow I will guided to be the best I can be, you’re missing out on special days.
Milestones that I have mastered. I will conquer my world and learn new ways,
to look at life because I have a mom who truly loves me and really cared.
Too bad you didn’t daddy… You know; you really should have been there!

Written by: S. White Sept 2012.

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